ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
