I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
