I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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