you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
