Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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