I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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