so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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