I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
