Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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