she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My vagina is officially offended.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
