Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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