My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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