Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize