on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
tell me about the eggs
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