you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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