Dual....:-)
I'm gonna have a badass scar
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
