Cold hands, warm shart.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
