He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
