where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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