i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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