Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
