12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
