he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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