No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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