So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
