Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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