if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Two words: nipple clamps
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