check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
