I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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