Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
