sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
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