I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
