so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
