I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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