I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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