I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
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