I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize