marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
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I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
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I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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