someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
