Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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