got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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