I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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