ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
