capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize