You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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