Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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