The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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