the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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