bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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