I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
