i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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