just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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