he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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