All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
